Think other wise
in Sherlock, we don’t say “i love you”, we say “Afghanistan or Iraq?” and i think that’s beautiful.
we also don’t say “I love you too”, we just say “because you’re an idiot” and that’s beautiful too.
(via imjohnlocked)
the 12 year olds on this website get really mad if you point out the fact that they’re 12
r u serious
NOT EVERY 12 OLD GETS REALLY ANGRY
jesues sometimes people are just so dumb ughh
this is almost as fun as playing spot the vegan.
Spot the vegan? Yeah…the vegan is the one who isn’t killing or harming animals just because “They taste good.”
Found the vegan.
(Source: enmu, via tumbledore-)
it snew today
i think i just busted vein from laughing so hard what the hell is snew an actual word
the post that ruined my life
(via emojifather)
Me: Hello?
Telemarketer: Hello, is your mother home?
Me: I have no mother.
Her: Well can I speak to your father?
Me: Yeah, which one?
Her: Which one is home?
Me: Well they're both home..but I don't think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a breakup with his boyfriend, Antonio.
Her: Oh, so your fathers' names are Carlos and Antonio?
Me: No, no! My fathers' names are Carlos and Mark.
Her: So who's Antonio?
Me: I just told you, Carlos's ex.
Her: So Carlos was cheating?
Me: Yes, but that's only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor.
Her: So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated?
Me: No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating.
Her: So Mark wasn't cheating?
Me: I never said that.
Her: Yes, yes you did!
Me: No I didn't.
Her: Y-yes! You did!
Me: Did what?
Her: Y-you- Never mind have a nice day, goodbye.
so at my family’s new year party my mom yelled out that the strippers had arrived and when i turned around it wAS MY GRANDPA IN DRAG
(Source: glindasupland, via emojifather)
My Parents Need to Stop Touching My Stuff: The Musical
featuring the hit single “Put that thing back where it came from or so help me”
First Song: Close My Door All The Way
Secret track: “I Made A Long Distance Call To My Mother Just To Find Out Where The Hell She Put My Socks”
Big Group Number: I Know You Have A Favorite (It’s Not Me)
Dramatic song: That’s Not My Name, That’s The Dog’s
(Source: flyakamaizyolo, via nobody-is-immortal)
I had a better social life when I was like 8 years old than I do now.
(Source: dad-buscemi, via nobody-is-immortal)
